Shopping for gifts
A woman shopping for children? A woman shopping? Stop right there.
Children can be real pests. Women too. No good pairing them up. Push the man in the front.
Driving the reindeer around
Women can’t drive. Period. You can’t kill a reindeer, giggle about how stupid you are, show your lovely teeth to the parole officer, and get away with it. This is not Earth.
Ho Ho Ho!!!!!!!!
What would the woman say to announce her arrival? Hee hee hee? The children will think that a witch has come and will run for their lives. And what would we call her? Santina Clausina? Lady in red? Sounds like the name of a porn movie.
Slinking down the chimney business
Imagine a woman doing that. She will not go down the chimney. She is bound to make all sorts of excuses such as how the soot will spoil her manicured legs and spotless clothes and blah blah blah. Who needs this grief? Down you go man.
And most importantly…..
Who is going to tell the children that the jolly old (?!) woman is not Santina Clausina (chokes) but is actually their MOM!! They have to know that at some point. You don’t won’t them writing letters to Santina Clausina at the age of 30, asking for a job.
Now imagine a DAD (read MAN) explaining that to his child. Yes. 99 times out of 100, he will be cursing his wife a.ka. Santina Clausina, for putting him in this situation. It somehow seems worse. And there is a huge chance that he will screw it up.
So man is better off being Santa Claus. The one thing he is good at anyway.