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Friday, July 23, 2010

Let's talk.

Conversations. Everyone loves conversations.

Especially if it’s about themselves.

You want to tell your friend about how you tripped the other day and almost broke your hip. However, even before you reach the part where you tripped, BANG! She will think of an incident, where, she too almost broke an organ. So what if it’s just a fingernail that broke? It’s SOMETHING! At this point, you are taken back to your memories of watching the American Pie movies, with Michelle and her “This one time, at band camp” instances which are more boring to hear than it is to hear an HR personnel speak about human kindness.

You never finish your conversation, but you know all about your friend’s broken nail and the exact measurement of ointment used to ensure a speedy growth too. You could probably write a thesis on it, which would be titled, “Nailing it. Not.”

Here is an example:

A: So, today I embarrassed myself in front of my boss

B: Wow, what happened?

A: Well, my boss sends me a mail which I had to reply to, and I punched in the wrong email id, hence mailed a non-existing id and....

B: I know!! That happened to me too! I mean it was just so weird you know!

A: Wait, I didn’t...

B: So what happens is, I am mailing this funny mail to my friend at work...and it gets forwarded to the boss! Like what are the odds of that happening?!

A: Er....

B: I know!!! Anyway, so this boss calls me in, and guess what? (doesn’t allow other person time to guess) She LOVED the mail!!! Isn’t that the coolest thing ever! I thought I was so getting fired today!

A: But....

B: I know!!!! She even told me to include her in my mailing list next time onwards! I hope this gets me promoted!

A: You don’t.....

B: I know!!!!

And some other times, the Conversation Stealers talk about things that are not even related to the topic at large, small or whatever.

Here’s an example:

A: Hey, so I was walking my dog and this weird looking thing bit him and now he is unwell

B: What bit him?

A: Looked like a bug....don’t know...I think....

B: Must have been a shark bug

A: Huh?

B: Dude, did you see the way those sharks bit Joe in that movie? So I was seeing this awesome movie on cable that day.....is called ‘Shark or What!’ Is a funny movie...and has this scene where this shark bites the main character named Joe and it gives him this ugly scar! And you know what he goes around telling people? That he fought a lion! I mean is that funny or what?!

A: I....

B: No! It’s Shark or What!! HAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Someday. These people will be &^%$#^&*@!%^$%$^#@^&$#@. Someday.

7 comments:

sheffy said...

Somebody gonna get a hurt today!
Guess these kinds of conversations happen too often with you...

Oye koi nahi yaar, koi nahi/...
At such times just chant the mantra that has worked for millions the world over... "Om Sheff!"

Whenever you feel the world is against you, take my name in vain my child, and thou shall be healed! ;-)

Bolo Sheff Baba ki... Jai...

"Om Sheff!" baalike... "Om Sheff!"

sheffy said...

As Aamir Khan said in 3-Idiots,

" Jab life ho out of control, seeti bajaa ke bol... Om Sheff!"

tomorrowisanotherday said...

oye Sheffy, thoda zyada ho gaya...Ani, why dnt u give him ur precious cookie :P
I so get caught up in these conversations n u knw i hve anyways "lots" to say...lol

Suvishesh Valsan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Suvishesh Valsan said...

yeaha! these conversations are a way of life for such ppl who are never short of events/updates/issues/problems to discuss... and when i say SUCH PPL... i think they mean the world (of today) to me!!

Divisionbelle said...

Oh, you know it happens with me all the time. Like, this one time I was narrating something to a friend about my broken ankle and she started talking about her dog's broken leg! Isn't that weird? :P hehehehehe. Don't hurt me, don't hurt me!

Good read Ani

sheffy said...

Oye Roohi, teri toh...
I'm in a good mood today, nahi toh aaj khoon ki nadiyaa beh jaati...