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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

In a FOUL mood

There has been much debate on the world’s foulest word. The F word doesn’t really mean anything. For a word that applies to countless situations, the F word has lost its significance. Soon, babies will enter the world, saying “Who the f*** switched on the light?”, and the doctors will nod in agreement about how healthy this baby is.


What could be the foulest word then? For a word to qualify as the world’s foulest word, it has to generate ample satisfaction and sadistic pleasure in the person using the foul word and the desire to crawl and die for the victim of the foul word. The word also needs to be applicable to one situation: that the person is absolutely pointless and is the biggest scum of the earth. When you wish to convey this powerful message, only one word comes to my mind: You MANAGER!!


While reading this, some of my readers out there may have already said, “What rubbish”, while some may have used the foul word for me too. This should bother me, of course. But there are people, and then there are managers. And there is no possible reconciliation for that. (If you said WHAT RUBBISH, you know who you are:-P)

Below are two situations where you may need to call upon the powers of this word. These are hypothetical situations. (Yeah right).

A: Bitch! I waited you for FOUR LONG hours in the bloody park!

B: I was getting my hair done.

A: Yah, and I was asking the ants to pedicure me to death!!!!

B: Who?

A: I am so NOT waiting for you next time.

B: Would you rather see me in a weird hairdo!

A: Hahahahaha….am I not NOW???

B: You non-appreciating imbecile!

A: you MANAGER!!

And another one.

A: Did you clean the attic?

B: Do I know you?

A: Clean the attic

B: Give me a good reason why I should waste my time doing something YOU think is important.

A: Because I have knives that I cut vegetables with.

B: (silence) you MANAGER.

If you have used my patent bad word RIGHT NOW, you owe me some amount of money. And try not to insult me with a ‘YOU MANAGER’, as you finish reading this.

We all are MANAGERS at some point in our lives after all :P


tomorrowisanotherday said...

u associate...!!! :P

juhi shrivastava said...

I still hate the F word. But 'U Manager' is good.

Tortured Genius said...

hay, pretty cool.. I enjoyed your post and 'Manager' seems to be a very good replacement for the f word.. at least this word would have some etymology :P

sheffy said...

Anito, you're such a MANAGER... How could you???
If I call you the BEST MANAGER, would that be the best compliment or the worst insult???

Rajat said...

I wish I could use the word for my manager but alas... he is such a lame duck, socialist to top it all.

Angelo said...

I think it should be HR, they are way worse than managers

Anita said...

@Roohi: YOU MANAGER!!!

@Juhi: Thanks girl!

@Afshaan: Thanks a lot girl :) and yes, Manager is a more sophisticated word that still manages to deliver the punch :P

@Sheffy: NEVER EVER CALL ME A MANAGER!!! i keel you!!!

@Rajat: well, you could still say: "You're such a manager / Do you have to be a MANAGER?" :P

@Angelo: That NEEDS a NEW POST!!! thanks MAN!!! :D

Dr. Sushant said...

hey u hav written ths! great. me 5 din bangalore me kya raha sangat ka asar dikh raha he!!!!!!!!!!!! carry on.tu jarur mera naam roshan karegi. but u still need 2 add some ground humour into it

Ann Dee said...

While the F word applies to situations and I never shrug using that, but I guess I have found the next best and for people.. Like, I do not the other favorite words of the F league for my husband... But "You Manager" would fit in so well.. :)

Thanks girl, you made my day!