I: I sent you the mail you requested for.
They: What is it about?
I: You are kidding me right? Right?
They: Should I colour my toenail ghastly red or lovely pink?
I: (descends into gradual insanity)
They: Perhaps you could turn the light tube a bit toward my direction? That should help me decide
I: (should I bring a mini blow dryer to dry your nails) The mail?
They: Oh yes.
Brief silence. For 30 minutes
They: (looks up) Oh, I decided. Lovely Pink it is.
I: (removes gun) Do you want to shoot me?
They: Let my nails dry first